Alright. It’s been 3 years and a change of employers, perhaps I can push up against the guardrail of the NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) I signed way back when. Just to be clear, I am not going to disclose anything I agreed to not to disclose. But I am going to tell you that standing in a gorgeous digital screening room reviewing a spot-in-progress for a widely coveted gizmo (now an ancient toy ) with several advertising execs, some of whom had God’s number on speed dial (that’s the God most commonly pronounced with an “S-t-” and rhymes with heave), somehow put a yearning into my cells.
It was Fall 2004: I saw the green (it was a special green …. long deliberated over by many highly paid people sipping expensive water talking about The Greenness of the green). I heard the snappy punky pop tune again & again & again. And again. I bore witness to conversations I cannot share (remember the NDA); conversations about drop shadows on silhouettes of shoelaces; conversations about the virtues of soy milk. Conversations about the green. I tried very hard to focus on the task at hand – getting the spot completed and shipped for air. After all, I wasn’t the audience, I was a small and marginal part of the team behind the scenes. But it didn’t matter. I became infected. I longed for one of the gizmos.
Eventually, after I shook that job, and later recovered financially from having opted temporarily for unemployment, after I went through an awakening of less materialistic ideals, I still wanted one of Those Things. Hint: it puts music in our ears and a skip in our step. I had waited long enough. I succumbed with no regrets.
Later I bought a new laptop by the same deified corporation because it was pretty & silver & came with a neato remote control and besides, I wanted Andy to have my older one. An already apparent confession: I do worship idols and I’m touching my favorite one right now. It’s shining its light onto my face as I type these words and I’m in deep praise of it as I breathe this breath. Unless you print this blog, you’re looking at yours too.
Today I walked straight into Mecca and held 2007’s holy grail for 20 minutes. It was a premeditated shopping event. I can recite the calling/data plans available for this iTem. I’ve been interviewing friends & family about their iThings for weeks now. I even asked NG about her relationship with hers. She gave me the affection-filled pros and some well thought out cons. I was ready to fall in love. I even have the money in the bank (thanks, Mom & Dad).
But after a little time touching the touch, something unexpected happened. I realized I didn’t want it.
I tried to want it. But I couldn’t even summon a minimal level of desire. I guess I’m a button gal. More importantly, now I can be sure of a significant fact: Steve Jobs Hasn’t Taken Control of my Entire Being. I’m free.
So, I took my freedom down the block & bought an erector set of Big Ben and a Run DMC tshirt. It was a good day.